Always Be Fair – To Animals, Others & Yourself!

by Mindy Kaleta on May 30, 2013

Fairness Six Pillars of Character

Always Be Fair

To Animals, Others & Yourself

Think of dividing an orange into equal sections to share fairly with others!

Fairness – what does it mean to “Be Fair”? 

  • Playing by the rules
  • Taking turns & sharing
  • Listening to Others
  • Being Careful not to blame carelessly

But WHY do we need to concern ourselves with such things?  Why not just do whatever you want without regard for anyone else?  After all, you have to be true to yourself, right?  Isn’t that the new way of thinking now days?

Yes, while I do believe that you absolutely must be true to yourself, no question!  BUT…if you are intentionally doing harm to another in order to be true to yourself, then we must take a closer look.  I believe that we can be true to ourselves without taking anything from another, being rude and unkind or placing blame carelessly. 

So, how does this work?

Playing by the Rules:

We all have rules to live by whether it’s in a family situation, school, work or life.  People need some structure to keep chaos to a minimum. Also, at the very least, it gives us a measure to go by to see if those rules are working or not.  For instance…a family rule where you do not allow your pup to chew up your couch, I would say that this rule is helpful for not only you, but every member of your household for a variety of reasons.

First, you don’t want your couch chewed up, (you don’t want to have to replace the couch if you don’t have to) and secondly, if you allow your pup to chew or are lax about enforcing the rule of “no chewing up the couch”,  it only teaches the pup that you have no respect for your own belongings and therefore, he is free to disrespect anything you say or do as well.  See how this tends to play out?

To truly be fair to all who are involved, you must set up rules that are equally (or as close to it as possible) fair to all parties. Of course, all rules can be tweaked as need be.  But you wouldn’t want to go to the other extreme and make a rule that your pup cannot chew on anything (except his food), because chewing is a necessary part of your puppy’s development and life and that would be unfair to him to make such a rule that would be almost impossible for him to obey.

Also, don’t set up rules that are tough or impossible for you to enforce.  No sense in getting yourself into a situation that is more work for you in the long run.  Fairness for you and everyone!

Taking Turns & Sharing:

Everyone wants a chance to take a turn and share in the fun; animals, others or yourself.  When this this basic privilege is denied,  it tends to cause feelings like “I’m not good enough”, “they don’t like me” or “I’m not respected or supported”.  Taking turns & sharing shows others that they ARE good enough and deserve a turn as well as anyone else.  When we spend time with animals or other  members of the family equally, play games your puppy would like to play, or give him the chance to share in family fun, your dog will feel loved and wanted too!

Listening to Others:

Listening to another point of view and taking the time to understand where they are coming from, is also a great way to show fairness.  After all, when you understand the “why” behind another viewpoint, it’s easier to be willing to compromise and come up with a solution for everyone.  Listening to your puppy, other family members, friends show them that you VALUE what they have to say and what they need.

Don’t Blame Others Carelessly:

This is where our animals sometimes get a really bad rap.  Something is destroyed, chewed up, torn apart or a mess is made that is definitely against the family rules!  And the dog, cat…whatever animal gets blamed for it. And they very well may have been behind the destruction. 

However, animals are just that…animals. And it’s up to the humans of the household to watch out for, instruct and teach the animals of the home what they can and cannot do.  And if the humans of the household have not been clear to the animal mind, then they still cannot be held responsible for what has transpired.  They truly do not understand it the way that you are seeing it.

Same goes for kids who don’t understand “why” something should or shouldn’t be done.  It’s up to the “teacher” to make it clear, easy to understand and real.

What about you?

As a life coach, I am adamant that we always have the responsibility to be fair to ourselves!  You are just as important as the animals, and others in your family, school, work or life.  Taking your wishes, desires and needs into consideration is imperative in order to preserve the “fairness”.  If you need a “time out”…take it.  If you need to express a concern…express it.  If you need to ask for help…ASK!!! Sometimes we think we must be a martyr and suck it up and make everyone else happy.   I don’t know if you’ve heard this saying before about, “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!”…but it’s true! Not just for Mom’s but for everyone. Then we slip right into resentment, when if we would just state our needs, things could be worked out.  That’s why Fairness is a key element!! 

Fairness is a key part of the Six Pillars of Character!

Take the time to make sure Fairness is present in everything that you do!


Hey, to keep in touch with all that we are doing with Kids, Pups and the Animal Connection, Puppy Parenting for Busy Families and our launch of the 2nd Edition of Puppy Scents, The Kids’ Guide to Puppy Care…come by our facebook page…”like” and share!  We are headed over now!  See you there!


Next Pillar of Character: CARING


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